I'm waking up in cheeto dust
My belly's covered with pizza crust
I'm using my inhaler now
I'm out of shape, fattening up
I'm sipping coke from a solo cup
Donut crumbs are upon my lips, whoa

The tv's on, I really hate this show
I can't reach my remote control
Welcome to my new place, to my new place
Sorry it's a cramped space, but it's my place
I'm really inactive, I'm so inactive
I'm really inactive, highly inactive

My muscle's gone, I'm atrophied
Always lose my fight with gravity
I rest my bones, and just chillax
My nordictrack's collecting dust
And my stairmaster's a pile of rust
This is it, the inertia

I can't get up, this couch is part of me
I'm growing cobwebs on my knee
Pretty sad for my age, sad for my age
I could read my rib cage, here is my age
I'm really inactive, yes, quite inactive
I'm really inactive, not very active

Near comatose, no exercise
Don't tag my toe, I'm still alive

I'm giving up, my energy is shot
I'm never moving from this spot
Never move from this place, move from this place
I'll stay here in this place, right in this place
I'm really inactive, just so inactive
I'm really inactive, not so attractive