I've been alive nearly 30 years and I've travelled to alot of places
I've met alot of lovely people and seen their smiling faces
God had in his great scheme that we should all speak a different way
I wonder how he understands when we all start to pray

If it's not Edam or Bergkamp then I don't understand
There's a lot of funny letters together in the language of your land
If it's not Edam or Bergkamp then I can't comprehend
I just want to learn some Dutch so I can be your friend

Your father sits there quietly and your mothers always nice
So we use some universal words to try and break the ice
You've got a lovely daughter and although she's only four
When it comes to speaking 'Nederland' she knows a whole lot more

If it's not Edam of Bergkamp then I don't understand
There's a lot of funny letters together in the language of your land
If it's not Edam or Bergkamp then I can't comprehend
I just want to learn some Dutch so I can be your friend

A quick 'Hello', a 'How are you', a 'Thanks for everything',
I've said my bit, thats all i know, I really think it's time to go...

I want to go into a Dutch cafe and order up a sandwich
Without pointing, looking embarrassed or using bit of the English language
I'll take me phrase book in my hand 'cos i aon't know much you see
'Cos when I hear the waitress's reply it's like single Dutch to me

If it's not Edam or Bergkamp then I don't understand
There's a lot of funny letters together in the language of your land
If it's not Edam or Bergkamp then I can't comprehend
I just want to learn some Dutch so I can be your friend