if you grew up with white boys
who only look at black and puerto rican porno
cause they want something that their dad don't got
then you know where you're at

mortaring your earholes shut in a rush with wet coke
in a starbucks bathroom with the door closed
on booze, i'm left in residue and confused
like the first time you used soft water
down on my luck, caught unaware
like houdini when the last fist struck

if i'm sinking in laughing at something sunken in, i am

sucking dick for drink tickets
at the free bar at my cousin's bat mitzvah
cutting the punch line and it ain't no joke
devoid of all hope circus mirrors and pot smoke
picking fights on dyke night
with shirlies and lokes and snatching purses

doing out on karaoke and forgetting all the verses
blowing kisses to disinterested bitches
playing lead lay in a bad way on broadway
sending sexy smses to my exes new man cause i can
on the road trying to break an old van
eating pussy for new fangs, i am what the hell
using purell till my hands bleed and swell
missing mail at a motel 6, i'm unwell

if i'm sinking in laughing at something sunken in, i am

it feels exciting touching your handwriting
getting horny by reading it and repeating poor me
intently staring at the picture of your feet on the sticker
at the r. crumb exhibit, i wonder who's sicker

jerking off in an art museum john till my dick hurts
the kind of shit i won't admit to my head shrinker
not even in a whisper to my own little sister
i just act like a dick and talk shit when i'm with her

aught six i'll say the friday before easter
was not what i cried to myself in the pisser
and with you in the front row at the silver jews show
and you act like you didn't notice, my fear of the bear
at showbiz pizza when i saw six was overwhelming and not dissimilar to this

if i'm sinking in laughting at something sunken in, i am

at jacob han's on tour i wake up
hung over on a hardwood floor
from a dream about how your dress
hangs off of your little breasts
i'd rather be dead than call this song
how i lost your respect but god bless or get neglected
and i'll see you when the sun sets east, don't forget me