Don't you think it's a little absurd
Don't you think the neighbors overheard
Us screaming at the top of our lungs
His mom wouldn't let us have a Bb gun

In the snow I took my driver's test
Never thought it would lead to my arrest
Cheerleaders gave the cops a hint
About the midnight neighborhood incident

Then dad turned on the fire
Mom packed up my parachutes
Big brother walked the wire
And I laced up my rocket boots
And we all piled in the Rambler
And listened to the gambler on the way
"You got to know when to hold 'em"

Our brains were happy and our feet were fried
At a dead halt because our horse had died
Stretched around a city block
That meant nothing to the typical jock

Then it came time to forge ahead
So Mikey and me and Heather and Ed
Had to move to California
And I met and married my little Bonnie J.

Then dad turned on the fire
Mom packed up my parachutes
Big brother walked the wire
And I laced up my rocket boots
And we all piled in the Rambler
And listened to the gambler on the way

Friday night fish at the fireside
Sunday night church at Riverside
We dust our fire stones with bleach
Our eyes would wander as a tire screeched

Then it came time to forge ahead
So Mikey and me and Heather and Ed
Had to move to California
And I met and married my little Bonnie J.

Then dad turned on the fire
Mom packed up my parachutes
Big brother walked the wire
And I picked up my apple juice
And we all piled in the Chevy
And headed into the levee singing
"Bye bye, Miss American Pie"