So...cold cooling at a ball
and im looking for some action
but like Mick Jagger said
I can't get no satisfaction
the girls are all around
but none of them wanna get with me
my threads are fresh and I'm looking def
yo, wassup with the l-o-c
the girls are all jocking
at the other end of the bar
having drinks with some no-name chump
when they know that I'm the star
so I got up and strolled over
to the other side of the cantina
I asked the guy, "why you so fly?"
he said "funky cold medina"

this brother told me a secret
on how to get more chicks
put a little medina in your glass
and the girls'll come real quick
it's better than any alcohol
or afrodesiac
a couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap
so I gave some to my dog, when he began to big
and then he licked his bowl and he looked at me
and did the wild thing on my leg
he used to scratch and bite me
before he was much much meaner
but now all the poodles run to my house for the funky cold medina

you know what I'm saying
I got every dog in my neighborhood breaking down my door
I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Strolls
they won't leave my dog alone with that medina thing

I went up to this girl
she said "Hi, my name Sheena"
I thought she'd be good to go with a little funk cold medina,
she said "I'd like a drink", I said "ok, I'll go get it"
and then a couple of sips, she cold licked her lips and I knew that she was
with it
so I took her to my crib
and everything went well as planned
but when she got undressed it was big old mess
Sheena was a man
so I threw him out
I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer weiner
you must be sure that the girl is pure for the funky cold medina

you know,
ain't no plans with a man,
this is the 80s and I'm down the ladies,

break it down,

back in the saddle, looking for a little affection
I took a shot, I thought I'd test it on the Love Connection
the audience guests voted, and you know, they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton ford
media had some dinner
she had a few drinks, I'm thinking soon what I'd be getting,
but that's when she starting talking 'bout plans for a wedding,
I said "wait, slow down love, not so fast, I'll be seeing ya",
that's why I found you don't play around with the funky cold medina

you know what I'm saying
that medina's a monster y'all