A foot in the street & a foo in the gutter –
that’s on foot in the morning rain –
Just round the corner, a hole full of water,
and hot dog!, it’s a holiday!
Splish splash in a pool of puddle,
don’t trip up on a tidal wave –
you’ll crash in a murky muddle…

Then you’ll know how it feels
To know you’re not real.

Went for a walk and I climbed up a tower –
it seemed like a thousand years
til I reached the top – oh, and I picked a flower
that grew through the stratosphere!

Drop down to a cloud or jetstream
don’t trip up on a weathervane –
you’ll drown in a world or wet dream…

Then you’ll know how it feels
To know you’re not real.

I wrote a letter and I gave it to Jenny –
I hoped for some return.
Next time I saw her she gave me a penny
wrapped up in a gummy worm –

Run round in a field or meadow –
don’t trip up on a sugarcane –
Fall down in a lazy shadow…

Then you’ll know how it feels
To know you’re not real.