Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh, I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done

(Chorus)
You say eether and I say eyether
You say neether and I say nyther
Eether, eyether, neether, nyther
Let's call the whole thing off!
You like potato and I like potahto
You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto!
Let's call the whole thing off!
But oh! If we call the whole thing off
Then we must part
And oh! If we ever part
Then that might break my heart!
So, if you like pajamas and I like pajahmas
I'll wear pajamas and give up pajahmas
For we know we need each other
So we better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing on!

You say laughter and I say lawfter
You say after and I say awfter
Laughter, lawfter, after, awfter
Let's call the whole thing off!
You like vanilla and I like vanella
You, sa's'parilla and I sa's'parella
Vanilla, vanella, Choc'late, strawb'ry!
Let's call the whole thing off!
But oh! If we call the whole thing off
Then we must part
And oh! If we ever part
Then that might break my heart!
So, if you go for oysters and I go for ersters
I'll order oysters and cancel the ersters
For we know we need each other
So we better call the calling off off!
Let's call the whole thing on