I'm gonna steal some bedsheets
From an amputee
I'm gonna mount em on a canvas
In the middle of the gallery
I'm gonna tell everybody
It was painted by a chimpanzee
Just between you and me
Here at the cultural low watermark
If it's fraud or art
They'll pay you to believe

I'm gonna take five young dudes
From white families
I'm gonna mount 'em on a billboard
In the middle of the country
I'm gonna tell everybody
They sing like angels with whiter teeth
But just between you and me
They're just like the ones before
With their standards lower
Another concert-goer will pay you to believe

[Chorus]
Oh, caffeine in the morning, alcohol at night
Cameras to record you and mirrors to recognize
And as the world is getting smaller
small things take up all your time
Narcissus would have had a field day
if he could have got online
And friends it's not self-love that kills you
It's when those who hate you are allowed
To sell you that you're a glorious shit
The entire world revolves around
And that you're the eater, no not the eaten
But that your hunger will only cease
If you come binge on radiant blandness
At the disposable feast

[Bridge]
(You're enjoying the chill winter playlist)
Just quickly how would you rate yourself
(? Indie Brunch)
In terms of sex appeal and cultural significance?
(Irony, irony
Blo blo blo blo blo blo blo)
Do you usually listen to music like this?
(Just one more mile, you can do it again)
Can we recommend some similar artists?
(This is totally the song of my summer)
Are you feeling depressed?
(This guy just gets me)
But your feedback's important
To us
(Music is my life)

Gonna buy myself a sports team
And put 'em in a pit
I'm gonna wage the old crusade
Against consciousness
All I need's a couple winners
To get every loser to fight in it
Keep the golden calf
Just need the bullshit
And they won't just sell themselves into slavery
They'll get on their knees and pay you to believe