This has got to be a joke
The universe fuckin' hates my guts
Remindin' me you and I don't spell 'us'
We share different postal codes
Maybe that's why I never got the memo
She's the real deal and I was just a pretty demo

And yet my world remains the whole of you to this day
Doesn't matter what my location says
I'm always tryna get to you
But shit just happens all the time

When I'm there, you're not
You're here, I'm caught up with my job
And your clingy ex comes back a lot
Then she leaves and you shoot your shot
But there's someone new I've got
And the cycle never stops, no, no
But there's nobody else I want, oh, oh
Don't care how long it takes, my heart is yours to break
I'm never giving up against all odds
No, no, no, no-oh, yeah

You're the mind-game mastermind, but
What I'd give to make that mind mine to lose, oh, yeah
'Cause I know you've got somebody
My friends say I could have anybody now that I'm somebody
But I don't care if I'm nobody to you, oh

I know it's pathetic, but I couldn't care less
I'd wait until the stars uncross and say, "Yes"
I'll always try to get you, ooh

When I'm there, you're not
You're here, I'm caught up with my job
And your clingy ex comes back a lot
Then she leaves and you shoot your shot
But there's someone new I've got
And the cycle never stops, no, no
But there's nobody else I want, oh
Don't care how long it takes, my heart is yours to break
I'm never giving up against all odds

Never in my damn favor, I don't want you for later
Never was much of a waiter
But I'd wait on you to drink you in
Guess it serves me right for even thinkin'
When I'm there you should... I don't know
Like, call up your boss, probably take the day off
Maybe we could change the odds!

When I'm there, you're not
You're here, I'm caught up with my job
And your clingy ex comes back a lot
Then she leaves and you shoot your shot
But there's someone new I've got
And the cycle never stops, no, no (No, no)
But there's nobody else I want, oh
Don't care how long it takes, my heart is yours to break
I'm never giving up against all odds