Pain works on a sliding scale
So does pleasure in a candy jail
True love doesn't come around any more than fate allows
On a Monday in Fort Lauderdale

I came all this way to see your grave
To see your life as writ in paraphrase
“I have tried thee, ” it is written, “in the furnace of affliction”
This is what you couldn't face

Life in a candy jail
With peppermint bars
Peanut brittle bunk beds
And marshmallow walls

Where the guards are gracious
And the grounds are grand
And the warden keeps the data on your favorite brands

Jelly beans and cookie dough
Country restroom on the radio
I got a number on my name
It's hard to rise above the shame
I'm a branded man made in the mold

These terms engulf the waking mind
Like cherry, grape and lemon lime
Like candy corn and licorice
Like bubble gum and Swedish fish
It happens to me all the time

Living in a candy jail
With peppermint bars
Peanut brittle bunk beds
And marshmallow walls

Where the guards are gracious
And the grounds are grand
And the warden really listens
And he understands