Written by Joe Egen & Gerry Rafferty
Produced by David Baerwald, David Kitay & Susanna Hoffs
Released as an unlisted bonus track on 'Susanna Hoffs' (1996)
Also released on 'Bean: The Album' (1997)

Well, I don't know why I came here tonight
I got a feelin' that somethin' ain't right
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair
And I'm wonderin' how I'll get down the stairs.

Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you.

Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you
And I'm wonderin' what it is I should do
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face
Losin' control, I'm all over the place.

Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you.

Well, you started out with nothing
And you've found that you're a self-made man
And you fancy I'll come crawlin'
Slap you on the back and say, "please...please".

Tryin' to make some sense of it all
But I can see it makes no sense at all
Is it cool to fall asleep on the floor
You don't think that I can take anymore.

Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you.

Well, you started out with nothing
And you've found that you're a self-made man
And you fancy I'll come crawlin'
Slap you on the back and say, "please...please".

Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you
Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you
Here I am.