(Heaton/Rotheray)
The perfect love song it has now words it only has death threats
And you can tell a classic ballad by how threatening it gets
So if you walk into your house and she's cutting up your mother
She's only trying to tell you that she loves you like no other
No other, she loves you like no other.

The only emotions that I know are love and hate
And she's chopping & she's changing & it's making you afraid
I said close your eyes and imagine that I'm nice
She'll kiss you or she'll kill you but you'll just have to wait

Because some things that I do make you go blue
And something that you said made me go red

The perfect love has no emotions, it only harbours doubt
And if she fears your intentions she will cut you out
So do not raise your voice and do not shake your fist
Just pass her the carving knife, if that's what she insists
Insists, if that's what she insists

A hate tattoo on my brain and a love one on my heart
I'd love to hate you, like I love you
and just tear your dreams apart
I said close your eyes and imagine that I'm nice
Cupid's arrow looking more like Cupid's poisoned dart

Because some things that I do make you go blue
And something that you said made me go red

Because some things that I do make you go blue
And something that you said made me go red

The perfect kiss is dry as sand and doesn't take your breath
The perfect kiss is with the boy that you've just stabbed to death

Is with the boy that you've just stabbed to death
Is with the boy that you've just stabbed to death