They say of the fable that businessmen croon That dog may eat dog but he pays the raccoon Filling up the coffers, billing up the otters, watching them squirm Yes, lions and tigers and bears owe my firm I've made mountains from founding these half-finished villages Run-down little towns that I fill up with idiots Declare one the Mayor, flair their ego a little bit Charge them with fixing it then charge for the privilege You buy land at a high deposit when I drop profitable hovels on it Each island is like a wallet 'cause I got the whole place in my pocket You crank the land value with every little bit of spit and polish If I get a better tenant than you Well, thank you! Everything's demolished It's about time I took some more payments from your good selves I'm just balancing the books But I'm still waiting on the bookshelves You promised you'd build me once you'd patched the fence Don't like it? Then bill me, I'll just add it to the rent
Never seen a game so twee but there's administration fees For this little haven we chiselled from complacency And we pay it gratefully, slaving every day for the Price tag attached to the back of our New Horizon
Raccoon in a tie that racked up a tycoon Can't handle my mess? You'd best stick with Splatoon You'll be knee-deep in seashells before we hit noon And that's hardly a dent in the debt you've accrued You may wonder why we keep moving around The houses you buy aren't that structurally sound A few years will lapse, they collapse to the ground And these suckers cough up for another new town! You call me amoral? Is that what you think? Well, at least I've not driven my assistant to drink Poor, dear, little Isabelle is caught in a living Hell It's fishing and yard work, not building a citadel Overworked, underpaid, that poor little Shih Tzu Managing a bunch of animals, I guess it really is a I guess you see the pun there Some Mayor you turned out to be, if I do say so How fitting, in a town full of critters That the only human is the scapegoat
Never seen a game so twee but there's administration fees For this little haven we chiselled from complacency And we pay it gratefully, slaving every day for the Price tag attached to the back of our New Horizon
Extortion has seldom been so inoffensive No matter the tax and whatever the rent is They flock and they herd just to pay their expenses With no picket lines 'cept a few garden fences Read between the lines and you might find the margins So, eat up the jargon, don't argue the bargains Or I'll add a "No Pets" clause, it wouldn't be hard and I'll have every resident live in the garden
Never seen a game so twee but there's administration fees For this little haven we chiselled from complacency And you pay it gratefully, slaving every day for the Price tag I've slapped on the back of your New Horizon
Right, rent's due And I think you owe me some nuts or fruit or fish or something