Somalia has got the hunger
Yugoslavia's battle will always rage
Germany's got a guilty conscience
And Magic Johnson, he's got AIDS.

But in the global battle for misery
You know, we all win it
'Cause we're all Victorians
And we've got Jeffrey Kennett.

Stalin, he fucked communism
Germany and Hitler fucked the Yids
We all fuck the ozone layer
Woody Allen, he fucks the kids.

Some people they fuck animals
But if you're kinky, why wait?
Come on down to Victoria
See one man fuck a state.

Queensland used to be the national joke
And Adelaide was full of S and M botty-spankers
Perth was full of crooked businessmen
And Sydney, still full of wankers

Tasmanians, I've never met met any.
But the whole nation knows that
We all voted in Jeffrey Kennett
And that makes every Victorian a prat.

The West and South Australians were right
They've know for years that Vics were pricks
And now the whole nation can agree
kick a Vic, kick a Vic, Kick me,

I'm one, come on, kick each other
But don't forget that when we're kicking each other to death
There's one man who deserves it more than the rest -
and his first name is Jeff.