I decided to improve my social station
I joined a fraternity organisation
tucked in my shirt
signed on the line
right away they said about to improve my mind
the car I drove
the books I read
the food I ate
the booze I drank
the girls I took out
my breath


Said "Kid, we don't much like the way you walk
and you gonna have to change the way you talk"
They said "your dress is kind of sludge
and your attitude is mighty grudge"
Said "you got to learn to bubble"
"You got to bubble with enthusiasm" I started bubble
"Most important thing you can't forget
is learning the entire Greek alphabet"
I never did really understand
that that's gonna make me anymore a man
but I learned it
I can whip through that Son-of-a-beta backwards in five seconds
Then they hit me with some pretty bad news
concerning the payment of monthly dues
I never did know where that money went
I never was sure it was well spent
but I paid it
I'm no troublecauser and besides I figured that's life
if you want good friends it gonna cost you


Well, finally got to be party time
I got a great big old jug of wine
I went back to the house in about an hour
[when the boy's were] drinking whiskey sours
Brandy Alexanders
frozen [daquires]
reciting the Greek alphabet to one another


I could see I was gonna have to do my very best
to get myself out of that fraternity mess
I stood right there outside the door
and I chugged that wine like never before
walked inside and bubbled
all over a couple of their dates


So now everything's back to normal again
but there is still lots of room for improvement my friend
'cause that fraternity stuff is too much for me
next time I'm gonna join a sorority
really get me something to bubble about