The bottom feels so much better than the top

So much better

Nan, you're a window shopper

Taking a look but you never buy

Nan, you're a window shopper

You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver

Nan, you're a window shopper

Get on the bus cause you still can't drive

Nan, you're a window shopper

Mad as fuck only just alive

You get up in the morning and you like your tea milky

You stumble for your glasses cause without 'em you can't see

It's funny how I come around your house and I'm twenty

And I still have to wear all the presents you sent me

I walk into your kitchen, everything's got a label

You've done your Christmas shopping and we're only in April

And you won't leave your house unless you're wearing your thermals

You've covered all in cat hair and you're stinking like Strepsils

You're headed down the bowls club

Have another orange squash

Fools are rolling, rolling, rolling

And you can't walk right

'Cause things aren't what they were

Your ankles are swollen, swollen, swollen

Nan, you're a window shopper

Taking a look but you never buy

Nan, you're a window shopper

You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver

Nan, you're a window shopper

Get on the bus cause you still can't drive

Nan, you're a window shopper

Mad as fuck only just alive

You're walking down the post office to pick up your pension

And then you're off to bingo has become an obsession

So weary of the kids who are wearing their hoods up

And even if they smile at you you think it's a stick-up

You only buy the paper just to cut out the coupons

You're saving 50p but what do you want with tampons?

You're always at the doctor oicking up your prescription

And they throw in some KY just to ease up the friction

You got a leak in your colostomy bag

Yeah, it's got a hole in, hole in, hole in

At the weekend you're shopping with your trolley

It's sad, how you're rolling, rolling, rolling

Nan, you're a window shopper

Taking a look but you never buy

Nan, you're a window shopper

You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver

Nan, you're a window shopper

Get on the bus cause you still can't drive

Nan, you're a window shopper

Mad as fuck only just alive